Embracing Being Different

It has been a few months now since we've gotten Cole's autism diagnosis, and I think it is safe to say that I've went through the entire emotional process of coming to accept it. I had another one of many turning points yesterday afternoon.

I was pushing Cole in a shopping cart at Target and just walking around browsing when he started what I like to call his "frenzy". This is what happens when I give him a new toy or something to hold while we are walking around, and he gets super excited. His eyes squeeze shut tight, a big smile appears on his face, he starts yelling a bunch of loud gibberish, and his arms and head start flailing around. It is quite a sight! People stare and laugh, and I used to get so, so embarrassed while trying to settle him down. But yesterday was different. All I did was hand him a bottle of shampoo...yes, shampoo. Something about the shampoo bottle must have made him a very happy boy because he started his frenzy. But this time, instead of getting embarrassed, I looked at my son and saw his pure and unfiltered joy. And I started to laugh with him. Which got him going even more! I'm sure people thought we were both nuts, but it felt so good to just not care anymore. To accept my baby boy exactly how he is at this moment.

Cole doesn't know that he is different, and I'm certainly not going to treat him like he is. I've been giving lots of thanks and praise to God lately for blessing us with a special needs child. Not only for entrusing us with the job of guiding him in this world and raising him, but also for all that it has changed us for the better. Everything has always come so easy for my beautiful girl, Eve, that I think I took so much for granted. She hit every milestone so early and so easily that I just assumed thats how it always worked. Boy was I wrong! But the beauty in Cole hitting milestones at his own pace is that each new word is a cause for celebration and another reason to be so thankful for what we have. Today his occupational therapist told me that she thought there was a great chance that Cole could possibly lose his autism diagnosis by the time he started school. While that would be the most amazing thing ever, I also realize that it truly doesn't matter if he doesn't. He is so perfect the way he is.